I think I had just gotten a job as tech support for a trucking company after the contract at the Mine ended, when I met another girl on PMC. I had a lot of time sitting around because the phones had to be staffed 24/7, but calls were one or two a night in 8 hours.
I tried to flirt with her quite a bit at first, but she wasn’t having any to do with that. So after a while I went my way, she went hers. We were in the same public chat room a couple of weeks later, fell to chatting and ended up chatting for hours on end for the next several months. For the first time I felt I had a real emotional connection with a woman.
We exchanged pictures, me and my geekyness, her slightly overweight, yet still pretty damn cute. She claimed to have lost the weight though. I eventually end up asking her to fly out to see me. Or perhaps it was a mutual idea, I don’t remember.
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I officially go crazy due to a lot of other shit in my life, but mostly because I was so desperate to believe in God. A just God would never allow what happened to me to happen. I contemplated suicide daily, purchased a gun just for that purpose. Drinking became worse, and I started in on drugs.
I started seeing a therapist who helped out a lot. There was a break through point where I just suddenly decided I didn’t need drugs and alcohol any more and threw it all away. Went totally sober, went back to college. I was about 21 at the time. Stopped seeing the therapist as we both agreed I had turned around and didn’t need to do so anymore.
I started working in the school’s computer lab. There was a TALL Red Head working there. Just an awesome personality, but she had a boy friend. Thank God! But I started hanging out with her as friends, she introduced me to a couple of her friends. In fact she’s still a good friend almost fifteen years later.
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So right about this time is when I start questioning my own sanity. I swear off women, I swear off religion. I started drinking very heavily. To the point that I’m on a fifth of Vodka a day. I have serious thoughts of turning gay because women are that crazy.
I get a job at the local video store/Espresso shop/pizza place. Seriously, all in the same place. Another very small town. This is about three months after the last story.
I ended up becoming the manager of this place, by being the longest employed Employee. After TWO months which should have been a clue. So a girl is hired to replace the person who just left. She’s right at my age, OK face, decent body. But I’m off women so I don’t even look at her twice.
She’s wearing these skirts to work, sort of loose, frilly, down to right above her knees, decently nice outfit in general. We were opening up the store together for the first time, she’s on her hands and knees pulling stock from a bottom shelf. Skirt is hiked up far enough that I find out she’s going Commando.
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So I drop out of college and start traveling the Western US states visiting every single Church, Synagogue, Mosque, Bible Revival, Wiccan Circle I can in an attempt to find religion with serious thoughts of becoming a priest and going celibate. I come back home to just to work long enough to get money for my next trip. I drive 1000 miles just to attend services at some podunk little town, or a mega church, spending time talking to the preacher, volunteering, etc. I memorize the Bible, witness for people, knock on doors. I am Mr. Perfect Bible Thumper himself.
In Ely Nevada at the age of 20, I catch the eye of the preacher at the Church there. He sees me as a fine, upstanding young man, looking to really change the world and bring Christianity to the masses. I see him as the man who has the answer I’ve been looking for. So I ask him, “I want to be part of your congregation. May I stay here at the church and do work for you?” He says (imagine a firebrand Southern accent here,) “Son, I’ll do you one better. You come stay at my house in the upstairs room and we’ll discuss how you can help out the Church and serve God.” I agree, and find myself at his house in nearby Ruth. Actually it’s a few miles outside of town. OK, a LOT of miles outside of town. It’s a large 1800′s farmhouse surrounded by 1000 acres of farmland. Made for a family of about twenty, three stories, eight bedrooms, huge basement fruit cellar. I’m put up in a small room way up in the attic. It’s about 150 degrees during the day in there, but the rest of the family is second floor down, the third floor is mostly used for storage.
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Before I go there, I forgot about these other two girls.
I realize in writing this that it sounds unbelievable, but it’s 100% true.
After she killed herself, I decided to go a radical way. Moved away from home, went to a four year college instead of the CC I was at before. Tech school, guys outnumbered women 10 to 1. Chances of me even finding a woman were slim to none, most the women there were in the 4 or 5 range. So of course in to my life comes this sexy red head. Creamy white skin, green eyes that you could spend the rest of your life looking into, talked with a slight Irish or Scottish accent, was 19 and working on her second degree in accounting.
My roommate introduced me to the world of MOO, or MUD, which were essentially online chat rooms with moveable objects that you could manipulate. Pretty much a MMO but all text based. Again, pre Internet. WWW would be invented a year later. So, having an interest in programming, I through myself into this with a passion. Met this other person named “Willow.” We talked a lot but real life never came up much, I just assumed she was on the other side of the country or was actually a he (pretty common back then,) .
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