Crazy Girlfriend Story #3
So I drop out of college and start traveling the Western US states visiting every single Church, Synagogue, Mosque, Bible Revival, Wiccan Circle I can in an attempt to find religion with serious thoughts of becoming a priest and going celibate. I come back home to just to work long enough to get money for my next trip. I drive 1000 miles just to attend services at some podunk little town, or a mega church, spending time talking to the preacher, volunteering, etc. I memorize the Bible, witness for people, knock on doors. I am Mr. Perfect Bible Thumper himself.
In Ely Nevada at the age of 20, I catch the eye of the preacher at the Church there. He sees me as a fine, upstanding young man, looking to really change the world and bring Christianity to the masses. I see him as the man who has the answer I’ve been looking for. So I ask him, “I want to be part of your congregation. May I stay here at the church and do work for you?” He says (imagine a firebrand Southern accent here,) “Son, I’ll do you one better. You come stay at my house in the upstairs room and we’ll discuss how you can help out the Church and serve God.” I agree, and find myself at his house in nearby Ruth. Actually it’s a few miles outside of town. OK, a LOT of miles outside of town. It’s a large 1800′s farmhouse surrounded by 1000 acres of farmland. Made for a family of about twenty, three stories, eight bedrooms, huge basement fruit cellar. I’m put up in a small room way up in the attic. It’s about 150 degrees during the day in there, but the rest of the family is second floor down, the third floor is mostly used for storage.
He owns a farm, mostly cattle, and I get put to work helping out. Not a huge deal, I grew up on a farm, I can do this. He has ten children. The oldest one was 18 (she tells me in private as I was helping wash dishes the first night,) youngest was just born. She’s got that same Southern accent and tells me they just moved from Alabama after some “troubles” the nature of which she refuses to disclose. About two weeks later she’s dolling up real nicely, wearing revealing clothing, insisting that she sit next to me at the dinner table, and starting to grab me under the table. I have no clue how her parents didn’t notice.
One night after removing her hand from my knee at dinner for about the hundredth time, we all go to bed. I’m laying naked in bed trying to cool down, window wide open, listening to coyotes howling outside. She sneaks into the room and scares the hell out of me, I rush to cover myself because I was also thinking of Aphrodite. She says “What you thinking about? Oh… never mind! I know.” And I’m like “Get out of here! This is not appropriate!” Instead she shimmers out of her nightgown and my will power disappears.
After that her father becomes VERY friendly to me. She is near me every chance she can, we end up fucking in the barn, in the kitchen, the basement, at the far ends of the farm, all over the place. I mean, we obvious as hell and I can’t help it. She wears short shorts, no panties and is constantly touching my cock in a very possessive way.
A couple of weeks later, her father calls me into his Office. And says “I’ve noticed that you and my daughter have taken a shining to each other. I also know that you’ve been having your fornicating way with her. But that’s OK, God works in mysterious ways. You are going to marry her though, I’ve already set the date for two weeks from next thursday. She’ll be the happiest girl around!”
I’m like “Now before the wedding you’ve got to do something for me.” I am floored at this point. I am screwed in more ways then I can count. But it’s about to get worse. He lays out in WAY over thought detail his plans to burn down a rival church. And guess who the lucky arsonist is to be. He finishes it up with “You will be doing this, or you’ll be talking to the Sheriff about how you forced yourself upon my daughter.”
That night my room has been moved down to the third floor. Big huge bend. She comes in and starts talking about the wedding, what we’ll name our kids, etc, etc. Tries to initiate sex, but I’m not into it. She ends up falling asleep next to me and I’m chewing my finger nails down.
So the next night my car gets loaded up with several cans of gasoline, scrap paper, newspaper, kerosene, SIX boxes of matches, and even some black powder along with detailed plans on how to deploy every single bit of it. I’m sent into town. I stop at the rival Church and bang my head on the steering wheel multiple times. Finally I take the plans, write down what is going on, and slip it under the door of the Police Station and just start driving away.
Never heard anything out of it, but the next time I drove through there, his Church was up for sale.
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